You Don't Have to be Naked

This is what I refer to as a beauty shoot. It’s from a ways back. I had forgotten about it until I was reviewing feedback from my past clients. That’s when it jumped in front of my eyes and I just had to share! This piece is short but contains gorgeous shots!! (at least I think so LOL)

“I was very nervous leading up to the shoot and was feeling very self conscious. Shawnalee and her makeup artist quickly put me at ease and let me open up by giving posing cues and direction, while still listening to what I wanted and creating reality out of my abstract vision. True artists!”

I couldn't believe the photos were of me! I had seen the beautiful photos of others, but I couldn't imagine mine turning out as well. Shawnalee captured my style and vision and made sure the photos were 100% authentic but allowed me to see myself in a way I never had before.

Being Brave Enough

Sometimes things simply click together.

I saw this beautiful human’s instagram feed and when I read her latest post I felt a tug. I decided to be brave and introduce myself and tell her what I do. We immediately ‘synced’ with one another. She was a ‘hell yes!’ person when I described my approach to photoshoots so we got to work. I know that the process wasn’t easy for her at times. (I honestly don’t know anyone that is 100% at ease having a camera in their face) but her bravery came through in spades and man we got some stunning shots because of it! Please read on to hear in her own words how it all went:

“I was going through a creative lull so this felt like something very needed as a new boost of inspiration and honestly could use even more of it now too.

There really isn't enough words I can string together that can express how much of a wonderful experience I had. From the initial getting to know each other to the session and the results, Shawnalee has blown it out of the water. I've been in the photoshoot process before but this was like no other compared to the attentiveness, caring, and creative energy that Shawnalee brings to the table.

I've been in a really difficult position for a while. This felt so serendipitous, I'm so happy with the shoot. It came at just the right time and I would love to do it again. I didn't come in with a set expectation but with an open mind.

It (seeing the images) really captured the rawness. The editing added another level of showing how it feels being more vulnerable. It wasn't different than what I was expecting, it felt just right :)

I felt a sense of "cleansing" in a way where I felt like I could reset while still being in the moment. To have an experience where there is a safe space to open up and capture the present. I think it was a wonderful moment where I could just focus on what's happening then and there which I come back to think of to this day.

I couldn't ask for a better experience. I genuinely couldn't say enough how thankful I am for the experience. It's a lasting memory for me that I still cherish.”

The Confidence it Has Bestowed Upon Me Has Been Life Altering

Transformation was absolutely, hands down, the overarching theme in this shoot. E.L. came to me through a recommendation from a friend. She grabbed my heart immediately with her story and her vision of capturing herself. Being fairly new in her coming out as a transwoman made this shoot all the more timely for her. And being over 40 definitely made her a fantastic fit for this project!

I was honored that E.L. reached out to me but I have to add that I was nervous as hell… I wanted this to be absolutely perfect in every way. So much was riding on her experience with this shoot! I felt a lot of responsibility for her and so I prepared, overprepared, double checked, you name it! I am happy to report that the shoot was a total success. And yes, there were tears of joy in everyone’s eyes. An experience I won’t soon forget. Please carry on reading. You may want to grab a hot tea and settle in….

“I felt captured by light for the first time. Now when I pass a mirror I look.”

“I'd seen Shawnalee's work and thought it was magic. I had only come out as trans a few months prior and I was still exploring my femininity. I wanted the experience of having a professional makeup artist and photographer home in on the inner me.

“I tried hard not to build up expectations going into the shoot. I honestly didn't know what could be achieved or how I would feel about it. I knew I was excited, which was a new feeling for me and I let it guide me.
At the beginning of the shoot, I remember being somewhat overwhelmed especially after I first saw myself in the mirror with make-up. But soon after it became quite peaceful and highly enjoyable. It was meditative in a way. Relax, listen to the guidance of the photographer, and let your face and body act as a conduit for your personality.
Afterward, I remember Shawnalee telling me to take care because I'd done a lot of emotional work, and I certainly had, but I felt fabulous and went on to have a great day. Later when I explained all of this to a friend they said, "well it sounds like you should be a model." This made me laugh but I liked the thought. I've come a long way with accepting myself and for me to even coyly entertain that idea proves it.”

“I’m still in awe when I look at the images she captured of me.”

The entire experience was affirming to me in a way I didn't know was possible. It made me feel seen and worthy of attention. After seeing my images I felt captured by light for the first time. Now when I pass a mirror I look. Now when I feel good I take a selfie. Living has never felt so free.

“The entire experience was affirming to me in a way I didn't know was possible.”

“I recommend this experience highly. It's easily been one of the greatest decisions of my life. Not only was it tremendously fun but the confidence it has bestowed upon me has been life-altering.

As a transwoman, I can't imagine a more affirming, accepting, and confidence building experience than having a photoshoot with Shawnalee. I'm still in awe when I look at the images she captured of me. Easily one of the best decisions of my life. I see me! Do this for yourself, you are worth it!” -E.L.

Compare Yourself to Others

This is what we often do on social media. We compare how many likes we get on a post -we even compare ourselves to ourselves. Sounds like I just wrote that incorrectly. What I mean is that we compare how well one post does compared to another post we made. Comparing is a rabbit hole. It wastes time and more often than not, it drags you down. What does all this have to do with photography you ask? Read on and I will explain…

In this day and age a camera is almost always present and used in our everyday goings ons and yes, social media posting. We believe what we see, especially in our own selfies, therefore we are in a lot of danger when all we see are subpar pictures of ourselves. There is good reason for 'not so great' pictures. First of all, did you know that smart phones typically have a wide angle lense? This distorts, especially at close range. Yes, those selfies are not a true representation. Layer that with how your flavour of smartphone interprets the image via non linear colour space and HD, and you often end up with some pretty disappointing selfies. Thank God for filters right?!!

The above paragraph focused mainly on technical failings. Next is the when, where, how. Quality of light, composition, environment, angles etc. These can all make or break a shot. In our everyday lives, candid photography is welcome. Snap away! But realize that in no way will you come close to an intentionally crafted shot with the correct setup. It's all too easy to simply forget that there is such a thing. Especially when it comes to the selfie.

Overall, candids serve a purpose but please be aware that they are far from accurate. Don't judge so harshly. Don’t compare yourself to others. You are a beautiful human being. You are art. I believe whole heartedly that being photogenic is a myth. I believe that you are beautiful because of your flaws not despite them.

She Left Feeling Like a Goddess

“After seeing the images of myself I feel I have a little better glimpse into what others see in me. I can forgive more for not being where I want to be and more gentle with myself. The photos are powerful and fun and I feel that way more now too!”

“When I look at this image I see Strength, Confidence, Allure, Poise, Beauty, Power, Sex Appeal, a Badass.”

Running empowering photoshoots create opportunities to meet such amazingly resilient women. Miss J. is incredibly strong, generous and playful. Before her shoot however, was a woman who had a mistrust of the process.

I’m happy to report that I was able to create a positive experience for her! It all began with that first phone call. We discussed shoot details, the history & meaning behind her tattoos. She also shared how impersonal and rushed she had felt in a boudoir shoot she had a few years back. How disappointed she had been with her images. With this knowledge, I was a little nervous myself! This was a group shoot which meant I had less time to spend with each client.

On the day of her shoot I could detect some nerves but they soon faded. This woman was unbelievable. Brave to no end. Open and trusting. Read on to find out about how this shoot turned things around for her. -Can I just quickly say that I am sooooo happy right now?!…

 “I was very nervous leading up to the day because of past experience with a shoot like this. I was made comfortable with a phone interview with Shawnalee and meeting her in person. When I arrived I was greeted and set up in make up. The mood was up and the room was gorgeous. I sat down with Shawnalee and talked about outfits and set right to work. I walked in feeling not my best and not excited about my body and I left feeling like a goddess. As a photographer, Shawnalee is so easy to work with and she’s encouraging and empowering with her words!
I walked out feeling more confident and truly seen!”

"When I look at this image I see Strength, Confidence, Allure, Poise, Beauty, Power, Sex Appeal, a Badass, I see me for the first time in a very long time. I met with Shawnalee to look over my photos from, “The Story Behind Her Ink”, project and was overwhelmed by what I saw.
I loved my images! I saw in me, maybe what others see every day and I refuse to because of the walls I’ve built to “protect” myself from hurt and disappointment. Realizing the only thing that wall has done is keep me from myself." 

-Miss. J

“Our backs
tell stories
no books have
the spine to
carry.”

Rupi Kaur

How to Choose Wardrobe | Portland OR Boudoir Inspired & Tattoo Photographer

For me, it’s challenging enough to choose what I’m going to wear on any one given day! So I totally get the feeling of overwhelm and perhaps intimidation at the thought of choosing what to wear for a boudoir inspired photoshoot!

“So What Should I Wear for my shoot?!”

When it comes right down to it, I often say: “If it makes you feel amazing then it’s probably the right thing.” “So I could wear my Overalls?” You ask half joking. “Absolutely, yes. Overalls = Yes.“ (This is the moment when your head explodes) Confused, you then say: “But I thought this was a boudoir shoot!!” “Doesn’t that mean lingerie?” Well, no not necessarily.” I say. And our conversation goes on from there.

Lingerie is not a have to. At least not for my shoots. Which is why I like to use the terms: Modern Boudoir and Boudoir Inspired. If at all possible I wouldn’t use the word Boudoir. That said, I find it is an excellent umbrella term that everyone has heard of. There are many interpretations and possibilities. For my style, reserving some of the mystery is something I strive for. I prefer a more ‘implied’ approach. I believe in personal story. That’s where wardrobe plays a big part by reflecting who you truly are.

What you wear should speak to you in some way. Since no two people are alike, what you wear can and should be equally unique. Playing with layers, textures… comfy socks! Boots. Who doesn’t feel like they can accomplish anything in boots? If no boots, barefoot! What is your story? Who are you?

When we get together to design your shoot, I make sure we talk personal style and what inspires you. And, the designing doesn’t end at the meeting. We exchange inspiration and ideas leading right up to the shoot date. I am there along the way to make sure you feel totally confident in your choices. And yes, I have been known to shop for clients. In the end, I want you to identify with the person in the images. I want you to connect on a deep level with your portraits. So, from Overalls to Lingerie, it’s all possible. There is no one size fits all wardrobe style. It’s about story, it’s about you.

Light test with my lovely assistant.

Beautiful Words from Miss S.

“This picture brings me to tears.
This picture was taken 6 weeks ago, I wasn’t as thin as I am now, I was broken out, VERY nervous, very unsure.
But I see this picture and cry. Because I see something In this that I’ve never seen in my pictures.

This photo shoot was a pivotal moment for me.
I was selected with two other women, from many, to participate in this shoot to empower women with tattoos.
I was so nervous it almost led to panic. I have never been photographed this way. I have never 𝑺𝑬𝑬𝑵 𝑴𝒀𝑺𝑬𝑳𝑭 this way.”

“I am in tears as I write.
This picture, I don’t see shame. I don’t FEEL shame.
I see 𝑺𝑻𝑹𝑬𝑵𝑮𝑻𝑯.
I see 𝑪𝑶𝑼𝑹𝑨𝑮𝑬.
I see a 𝑺𝑼𝑹𝑽𝑰𝑽𝑶𝑹.

𝑰 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒂 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒄𝒌.
It was time for me to let go of the old me. Full of shame, regret, insecurities, and pursue the life I deserve. One that I love.
A life of 𝒂𝒃𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆, 𝒋𝒐𝒚, and 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆.
I wasnt my thinnest. I didn’t do my hair right. I didn’t have my nails done.
𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒊 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒂 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆.”

“I almost backed out. I felt I wasn’t worthy. Felt I wasn’t attractive enough.
And after surviving sexual assault, I FELT ASHAMED OF SHOWING MY BODY.
I have always felt shame for my body. Being a big girl, it’s hard to dress the way I’d like to without ‘showing too much’. After the assault, I was BLAMED for how I looked in what I was wearing. A baggy t shirt and sweat shorts.
This day was MONUMENTAL In my self growth.
When the shoot started I could barely raise my head. By the end of the shoot, 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺.”

“It’s time for YOU to let go of the old you, and see yourself the way you deserve to be seen.”

-Miss S.

The Stories Behind Her Ink. In the Making...

To describe these three women -hard to find words…. They were incredibly playful, vulnerable, STUNNING.

I created this project to compose the tattoo’d body with beautiful light as well as incorporate personal story. I was looking for a result that would show the women that they are true works of art with incredible personal stories.

I asked the women to write a few words. Sharing their story about their ink. I plan to do more layering of their words as in the group shot above for their individual photos.

I'm really looking forward to working with more tattooed people. I want them to be able to experience their tattoos in a deeper way. To see them from the outside vs. looking in a mirror or a selfie.

By creating intentional images, composed and lit in a thought provoking way. What an amazing thing to have of one’s self and one’s tattoos.

Women Have Stories...

This is probably one of the biggest things I love when I photograph women. The sharing of stories. Especially in the ‘undone’ less clothes state, ‘free’ state. It seems to bring up all kinds of beautiful conversations. Often deep personal ones. The sessions fly by with all kinds of laughter, vulnerability and absolute, jaw-dropping beauty. There is something lighter in the way a woman walks when she leaves the studio.